Jim Rohn is credited with the saying “You become an average of the 5 people you hang out with most.” It pretty simple, really. The folks we spend time with are those we seek information from, often hold as authorities, and even if we’re unaware, pattern our habits and tendencies after. Think about it: How many of us have asked friends who have lost money in the stock market for their thoughts and ideas on what to invest in? What about the newest diet our friend is on… How many times have we asked, after they lost 5 pounds, what they’re doing and then follow suit? What about talking to someone who has failed at numerous relationships as we try to sort out the bumps in the roads of our relationships. Why do we do this? Why don’t we seek to add those who have been successful and trained (They need to be both! Don’t hire a personal trainer who read books about bench pressing but never has benched any real weight. He or she can’t teach you how to bench press nearly as effectively as someone who has, or has had in the past, a world class bench press). If you want to lose weight and be healthy, don’t ask the person who is overweight and on their latest diet fad, talk to the person that has been successful at losing the weight and keeping it off for an extended period of time. I guess what I’m saying is make an effort to expand your circle to those outside your “friends and famiy” to include those worth having as trusted advisors and consultants in their area of expertise and experience and become someone worth having in your circle. Here are three ways to do so:
1: Cut out the negativity! Get rid of negative people and influences. Sometimes that means taking a break from the news or papers. Spend time with people that inspire you, not people that drain you and your dreams. It’s your responsibility to control who you spend time with. Do so with care. Figure out what those who inspire you do regularly, what their habits are and focuses are and imitate. Become like them.
2. Do something that scares you every day! We often find ourselves in ruts and stalled out because of comfort. We all like being comfortable. This is hugely prohibitive to our success, so we need to regulary do something that scares us. This can be as simple as pushing it a little in the gym or saying high to someone new or as crazy as finally going skydiving or starting that new business. Find a way to get uncomfortable once again.
3. Fine tune yourself! Through education, practice, some occasional failures, and constructive consultations with those who are expert at what you’re working to improve. Make “positive deposits” in yourself, invest in yourself, and work on yourself. The world gets better as we do individually.
By doing these three things, you will expand your circle of trust to include more people worthy of your trust, your circle of influence will grow and you’ll be better able to benefit others, and your personal circle of opportunity will become a spring of joy and success rather than a limiting fence of confinement.