Have you ever forgotten a birthday, big event, or fallen short on your goals? I know I have!!! There are so many things to do in LIFE that I sometimes get confused on where to spend my time and effort, so I spend my time and effort in places that will not get me my goals. After studying the subject of self sabotage and why we sometime sabotage ourselves I have found 7 steps on how to overcome self sabotaging behavior and become a better you.
Here are seven steps to end your sabotaging behavior:
1. Identify the patterns of your unwanted behavior: Be willing to look at your behavior patterns. Try not to be self-critical when you do this. Try looking at yourself through the lens of a loving camera and just note what you see.
2. Identify who parented the behavior: Look for the people that parented your behavior/habits. You most likely learned these patterns/habits from people in your childhood, your Mom or Dad, Grandpa or Grandma. No one wants to admit that they are like their parents, but it might be true!!!! The people in your childhood influenced your behavior no matter how hard you try not to be like them.
3. What sets off your unwanted behavior: Like a smoker or alcoholic certain triggers or situations will bring on a certain behavior. Think about what behavior you want to change and look for what makes you act out that behavior. If it is a behavior you want to stop, and then try eliminating that trigger or situation.
4. Watch yourself: Pay attention to when those triggers or situations are most likely to happen.
5. Find good role models: Find a good role model to pattern your life after. Look for people you respect and admire who behave differently in the same kinds of situations and note what they do differently. Make a plan to try those behaviors instead of the ones you have practiced.
6. Surround yourself with good friends: When you are trying to change, carefully select people who will support you in your attempts to find new ways to behave. Be careful of those who have an investment in your staying the same. They will knowingly or unknowingly counter-sabotage your efforts.
7. Create a plan: Create a plan to stay on track by caring more for you. I usually like to reward myself with treats, but this doesn’t always work when my goal is to lose weight. Remember, every moment in your life your behavior will take you closer or farther from the person you are trying to become. Don't put yourself down when you slip. If you start living the way you want to live instead of what you have grown accustomed to, you will eventually triumph over your past behavior and leave your sabotaging patterns behind.